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The part where you are suppose to listen to me
Life's a bitch then you die.
Life is simple. People complicate life by searching for answers.
Taoism: Shit happens.

Catholicism: Shit happens because you didn't obey the Pope.

Nihilism: You cannot distinguish between eating shit and eating prime rib.

Hinduism: Shit happens over and over and over until you're just plain pooped.

Televangelist Christianity: Shit happens to people who don't send me money.

Confucious says: Shit happens to man who is not wise enough to avoid it.

Liberal Protestantism: When shit happens, it's our job to clean it up.

Mayahana Buddhism: Shit happens, but a Boddisatva can clean up much shit.

Judaism: Why, oh why, do we always get so much shit?

Conservative Protestantism: Shit happens to people who don't work hard enough to avoid it.

Therevada Buddhism: Shit does not actually happen. Learn that shit is not real.

Zen Buddhism: If shit happens in the forest with no one around, what sound does one shit clapping make?

Pauline Christianity: Shit happens because Adam was a shithead.

Radical Islam: Shit happens because the Jews oppress the Palestinians, or because of the Americans.

Rastafarianism: Shit can be smoked.

Zorastrianism: There is an equal balance of shit and not-shit in the universe.

Athiesm: Shit does not exist.

Agnosticism: There may, or may not, be shit.

New Age Spirituality: Shit is a guilt trip made up by people on a power trip. You do not do shit.