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The part where you are suppose to listen to me
Life's a bitch then you die.
Life is simple. People complicate life by searching for answers.
Taoism: Shit happens.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you didn't obey the Pope.
Nihilism: You cannot distinguish between eating shit and eating prime rib.
Hinduism: Shit happens over and over and over until you're just plain pooped.
Televangelist Christianity: Shit happens to people who don't send me money.
Confucious says: Shit happens to man who is not wise enough to avoid it.
Liberal Protestantism: When shit happens, it's our job to clean it up.
Mayahana Buddhism: Shit happens, but a Boddisatva can clean up much shit.
Judaism: Why, oh why, do we always get so much shit?
Conservative Protestantism: Shit happens to people who don't work hard enough to avoid it.
Therevada Buddhism: Shit does not actually happen. Learn that shit is not real.
Zen Buddhism: If shit happens in the forest with no one around, what sound does one shit clapping make?
Pauline Christianity: Shit happens because Adam was a shithead.
Radical Islam: Shit happens because the Jews oppress the Palestinians, or because of the Americans.
Rastafarianism: Shit can be smoked.
Zorastrianism: There is an equal balance of shit and not-shit in the universe.
Athiesm: Shit does not exist.
Agnosticism: There may, or may not, be shit.
New Age Spirituality: Shit is a guilt trip made up by people on a power trip. You do not do shit.